Diary of an Online Dater – My Experience with Online Dating Websites
Written by Oprah Fangirl on November 29th, 2010 in Wayward Thoughts.
As recent graduates of an accredited four-year college, my roommate and I were trying our hand at real adult life. What had we found so far? 1) Hollywood gives us virtually no role models for this formative period of our lives. TV show heroes are either still in school (“Greek,” “Community”) or safely passed into the mid- to late-20s environment of steady paychecks and loyal friend posses (“Friends,” “How I Met Your Mother”). The solution of the one example we came across, Post Grad, which was naively screw around a bit, become disillusioned, and then move in with your hot friend-turned-lover, brings me to my next point. 2) Everything from booty calls to rekindling the spark with ex-boyfriends somehow loses its charm when everyone you know, including said ex-boyfriends, now lives 3+ hours away. 3) College had spoiled us into thinking that making friends was easy (and that we were good at it); TV had tricked us into believing that if you walked into a local bar looking foxy, the guys that noticed you would share your interests, admire your beliefs, and end up inviting you a dinner and a movie within the coming week.
So I took one for the team and signed up for online dating. I used Plentyoffish.com, because it was free. I knew going into it that this would probably limit my ratio of acceptable to total matches, but I also was not completely sold on this whole online dating sitch and was not willing to dedicate a large portion of my paycheck to it. If you want to try the pay-for-use dating websites, here are some to choose from.
The initial results were as I expected: Browsing through the geographically available men, I narrowed them down to approximately two. I eliminated anyone with a child; anyone who was older than me by 5 years or more; anyone who could not legally drink alcohol; anyone whose profile photo reminded me of my high-school Myspace friends; and anyone who I thought might find better luck through an escort service. Yes, I was being conservative and perhaps overly judgmental, but jumping from the small rural college social scene into the sea of plenty of fish was already reaching beyond my comfort level.
So. Back to the two I deemed acceptable—or if not acceptable, at least worthy of investigation. One of them responded in such a wishy-washy matter that I found myself grinding my teeth against the desire to tell him to nut up and tell his “feelings” to someone else. If his e-mails inspired that reaction from me, I decided not to risk it in-person.
The other one still passed my rigorous screening process after the initial messages, so I decided to give it a go. Our city is known for its outdoor landscapes and the weather was nice, so we met at a park. He brought some store-bought deli sandwiches and salad—and his guitar. We walked around, talked, looked at plants and sculptures—and he played me a song. We ended with friendly exchanges and a mutual agreement to try this again soon.
While it didn’t sweep me off my feet, I could imagine it working on another girl. In fact, I found myself wondering why this guy was resorting to online dating—in my experience, guys who put in any effort on a date beyond remembering their wallets come few and far between. But I’m not a girl that likes to be doted on, and for a first date after meeting online, it smacked a trifle much of “trying too hard.” But what the hey—he seemed like a nice guy, and I wouldn’t be averse to seeing him again.
All in all—the online dating world left me underwhelmed. I will admit that my response might be due to my own personality rather than the practice itself. I tend to be a serial monogamist, and it takes me a while to get comfortable around people. I can see online dating being much more palatable to someone truly ready to meet new people and have fun with it. If you can afford it, shop around the paid sites before picking one: Read the rest of this entry »
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